Sexy At The Office

Six things you should nag your boss to get you to make the workplace a better place.

You spend the best part of the day but not necessarily the best of times at the office. How do you improve it? Take a lesson from a five-year-old – to get something you want, throw tantrums or simply nag your superior to submission! It has worked for many superstars and even little boys desiring Transformer toys.
The time is nigh to take matters into your own hands and make your workplace better, more enjoyable and beautiful. Just make sure your boss does not get his or her hands on this article though.
We have shortlisted six possible items that could improve your work morale. And, hey, you might just be more productive too.

THUMBS UP

HP Ipaq H5555
Another Ipaq but not just any pda, this one comes with a fingerprint scanner to protect your precious data. The Ipaq H5555 runs on Microsoft Pocket PC 2003 Premium Edition and does everything your PC can including Internet through wi-fi, Word, Excel, email, play movies, mp3 and even connect to a HP printer!
Office excuse: It does not have a camera, so you see I am really using it to work mobile.
Personal excuse: Biometric fingerprint reader is a great way to impress girls and a sure-fire conversation starter. “Hey sexy, want to see what else I can do with my thumb?”
Happiness rating: Speechless. Crying tears of joy, hugging your boss!

GET THE PICTURE?

Apple Isight
Close the lens, adjust your skirt, open the lens, speak through dual element microphone while it picks up the best sound, and visually focus from up close (2cm) to infinity with the glorious Apple Isight web cam. Its lens aperture is a wide F/2.8, allowing it to collect more light than most web cams. Useful for dimly lit presentation and chats.
Office excuse: It saves time and money so we can conduct meetings, seminars and product demos without physically being there.
Personal excuse: My Australian boyfriend is going to be so happy to see me tonight on the chat room. Got to work till everyone leaves though.
Happiness rating: Excited! But please keep it dry.

DISKETTES ARE DEAD

Sony MicroVault 128MB
If you are still lugging those diskettes around, that may be the cause of your low work morale. In case you have not heard, diskettes are dead. Replace it with a Sony Micro Vault USB storage device. It comes with Password Lock protection software so you can encrypt the contents from nosey parkers (you know you have got some in the office).
Office excuse: Boss, did you know a 128MB thumb drive replaces over 88 diskettes and it works on any USB port?
Personal excuse: Imagine the pictures I could securely store in there…
Happiness Rating: Smiling all day in front of the computer.

MUST-HAVE STYLE

BenQ FP731 - 17” LCD Monitor
One of the star products of 2004 will be the LCD monitor. It is not hard to see why. LCD monitors liberate the space and inject a little style into the staid office environment. Its 1,280 x 1,024 maximum resolution and 0.264 mm dot pitch give accurate pictures and crisp text in 16.2 million colours. Recommended for its excellent value and performance.
Office excuse: Please help, I have a rat couple procreating somewhere in the mess behind my old monitor!
Personal excuse: I just wanted to show my colleagues I have the boss wrapped around my little finger.
Happiness rating: “My inter-colleague sex appeal just went off the scale!”

COLOUR WORKS

Epson C84 Inkjet Printer
This handsome printer can ink an A4 faster than most printers out there and it does it without costing you (or your company) an arm and a leg. Affordably priced with great photo printout quality and speed. Ink cartridges are not expensive either.
Office excuse: I think I am getting colour blind; I have been staring at black and white documents and picture printouts all day. I am calling my lawyer to arrange a lawsuit.
Personal excuse: Time to print wedding invites, pictures of home videos and downloaded Victoria Secrets catalogue.
Happiness rating: Not too bad. But you have to share it with colleagues.

IF THE BOSS DOESN’T BITE

Folio’s Keyboard MousePad
If all fails to persuade your boss to get you some nifty gadget, you could head to Folio and get this cool mouse pad. It is made to look like a giant keyboard button and is so cool it will attract some envious glances and chatter.
Office excuse: Do not hate me because my mouse pad is nicer than yours. My old one’s gone kaput and this is the only one I can find. Serious!
Personal excuse: I am not everyone else. I cannot settle for cheap mouse pads. Eww.
Happiness rating: Breathe in, breathe out.